I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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