So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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