Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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