I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
