Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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