don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I woke up under a house in Key West
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
