DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
