the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize