Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
