Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
It's no shave November. This is our time.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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