I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
