just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
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You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
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We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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