is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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