This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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