Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
