a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
he had hair everywhere except his balls
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
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