Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Your dad touched me again.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
