hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
nutella sex= disaster
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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