honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
