hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
