I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
