In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
