I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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