Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
