You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Are we still banned from the library?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
