love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
