I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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