Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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