I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize