Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize