After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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