So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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