don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
