Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
