Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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