Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize