It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
you never un-have a 4some
Randomize
