How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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