I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
