i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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