friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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