We named our party play list daddy issues
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
