Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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