so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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