I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
