It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
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