I don't think brook has ever known best
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
