Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
this boner is exhausting
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
