I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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