The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
