My first STD was from a foam party
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
