I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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