Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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