You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
