ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
this just has baby written all over it
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Randomize
