Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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